Tears or Raindrops
by Stochey
Summary: Summary: Takes place immediately after Fred and Angel get in the car at the end of Lullaby. What everyone’s thinking during the ride.


Author: Stacy Hutcherson

Website: **http://www.geocities.com/sweet_angel_242/The_Slayers_home.html**

Title: Tears or Raindrops

Spoilage: BtVS- seasons 1- the first of 6, Angel up to directly after Lullaby

Disclaimer: Don't own a thing except the story itself.

Summary: Takes place immediately after Fred and Angel get in the car at the end of Lullaby. What everyone's thinking during the ride. 

Note: Ok yes I know this is kind of mushy and the ending kind of blows so when you review it you don't have to tell me that, but this voice inside my head kept insisting that I write something like this and I'm not all that great of a writer so I really really want to know what you think of this and how I was with Characterization. Please, Please review!

Angel and Fred get in the backseat of Angel's car. Wesley starts to drive. Gunn is in the passenger's side in the front next to Wesley, Cordelia is directly behind Gunn, Fred is beside Cordy and Angel is beside Fred with the baby in his arms. All that can be heard is the raindrops and the faint roll of thunder. The baby's cries are quiet, but they haunt everyone in the car. So many questions go unanswered in the silent car, but no one dares to break the silence. 

Fred's thoughts: I'm so cold, I think I might freeze. Is the heater even on? There I go again always thinking of myself when others are in pain. I shouldn't be so selfish. After all atleast I'm not in my cave back in Pylea during all this rain. I'm here beside my hero and friends. I wish I could tell the past or be in the past or read minds or something. I just wish I knew what Angel was like when him and Darla were together, the first time I mean, or what Buffy is like. I feel so bad for Angel; it seems like bad things always happen to him. Maybe it's because of me; maybe I'm the reason all these bad things are happening. Since the first day I came to Angel Investigations bad stuff has happened, Buffy died and Angel had to go away, Cordelia's visions got worse, Gunn's friends wrecked Caritas, that old man switched places with Angel, Buffy came back from the dead, which I guess that was a good thing, Billy did that spell thing to Gunn and Wesley, Darla came back pregnant, and now some guy wants to kill Angel. I wonder if Angel will go away again because Darla's gone. I hope not. Are those tears on Angel's face? 

Cordelia's thoughts: Oh god, what is Angel going to do? What are we going to do? I hope Angel doesn't go evil again! That would be just like him, just to dump all his responsibilities on us _again_ and go around killing lawyers _again_. Oh who am I kidding? I know Angel's not going to do that, because he's Angel and he's a good person, well not exactly a person but close enough. When we pulled up I didn't see Darla anywhere, but I think I saw that Holts guy standing there. Darla probably just had the baby and then took off. She'll come tracking down Angel a few months from now, wanting the baby, that really would be horrible, but I wouldn't be surprised. I hope Fred doesn't get sick, she's shivering really hard. Where is Wesley going? We can't go back to the Hotel, but we need to find someplace safe and soon. Oh my gosh, is Angel crying? 

Gunn's thoughts: Talk about a bad few days. But, I guess I really shouldn't be the one complaining. I wonder if things are always going to go this bad for Angel. Yeah I admit that he needs to earn his forgiveness but that has nothing to do with miracle babies and vampires that don't stay dusted. I guess I owe Angel an apology for earlier, I'll do it when we get… Where are we going? Are we going back to the hotel? Nah… I doubt it. I hope English knows where we're goin. Where's Darla? Having the baby probably killed her. I wonder how Angel feels about that, if that is what happened. He definitely looks drained. Hey, maybe it's just the rain but were those tears on Angel's face?

Wesley's thoughts: Where am I going? I don't even know. I don't think any of us really care at the moment as long as it's safe. I'm definitely ready to be done with the endless fighting for tonight. This is not good for Angel. I know it's a miracle, I bet Angel never thought he'd be a father, but this is definitely not a good thing. If that child does turn out to be evil, will Angel be able to kill it or more importantly will he accept that it needs to be killed? What if something else kills it? How would Angel handle that? I guess we'll worry about that later. It's going to be a bumpy road for Angel, I just hope he can overcome it. We'll all be here to help of course but there will come a time when Angel will have to stand on his own. Which I know he is quite capable of. If only Darla hadn't of came back this last year would have ran so much smoother. Where is Darla? Next red light I'll glance around in the back for her, I hope I can pull it off without being too noticeable. Nope she's not back there. I wonder what happened. Poor Fred, she looks so cold and Angel… he looks so old, like all his years are being kept in his eyes. Were those tears or raindrops on his face?

Angel's thoughts: She killed herself. For a child. For our child. What am I doing? I can't raise a child. I wonder if he's human, if he's human then he'll soon look older than me. I should be able to sense if he's human or not, but my all my senses are left where Darla's ashes lay. My whole body feels so numb. Darla's dead again; it all seems more dramatic than when I staked her. How will Buffy react to this? I can't even begin to think about that now. His cries are starting to die down now. To think that 200 years ago I wouldn't think twice about crushing something this innocent. That's why I can't raise a child. Holts didn't kill me tonight, but I know I haven't seen the last of him. Tears are sliding down my cheeks now. I don't really know why. Maybe for Darla, I can't really say that I'll miss her but she's still a part of me. Maybe for my child who is either destined to turn evil or stay good and grow up in a world far too scary for… well, anyone. I wonder if the others have noticed the tears yet. At this point I don't really care. If they have noticed them, considering the last time they saw me cry was when I found out that Buffy was dead, they're probably debating on whether they're tears or raindrops. 

~The End~


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